Picking Up The Pieces
by Michiyou-sama
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke have been in a relationship for some time now, but their happiness crumbles then falls into pieces and Naruto is left alone to pick them up. Break up fic. FemNaru


' _So empty'_ she thought, lying on the sofa, her dull blue eyes scanning over the living room. She wasn't so sure if she meant the space of herself. Most probably both.

It all happened so fast, she never imagined it would go down so fast, it went downhill in three weeks. Well, not entirely, she noticed the first signs back in December, he easily got irritated and their normal bickering felt real, as he was meaning to hurt her. But she hushed it away, he had a lot on his plate, after all, he was working two jobs so that they could pay the rent.

On the other hand, she was home all the time, it didn't matter how many CVs she sent out, they wouldn't call her back. She felt depression creeping in through the windows, whispering in the dark how worthless she was. She desperately wanted to help him, take half of his burden and get rid of the demon with red eyes.

But she could only blame the situation for so long.

As January came, they offered Sasuke a full-time job. Suddenly he had free time, weekends not being worked through.

And she was devastated to see that nothing changed. They still didn't talk enough, they still didn't do anything together and his words were laced with poison, hurtful and mean. She couldn't take it longer, she broke down.

"Something is not right between us!" her voice was pleading, asking him to deny this, to say that everything is all right. Instead, cold black orbs turned to look at her.

"Yeah, I know and I'm just not sure if it ever will be. This period was really hard, for both of us. Let's wait and see if we can rest it out, okay?"

Her tears were falling silently but she nodded none the less. They will keep trying, they will try to make things okay again, after all, he wanted to do it too, didn't he? That's why he asked her to wait, right?

But nothing was right from that day on, she was crying all day when he was gone and tried to smile and be sweet when he was home. She did what she could, which included all the chores at home, making lunch for him every day and trying to find a job.

But they didn't talk at all when he was home, they ate, watched movies and went to sleep. When she hugged him he didn't hug back, their kisses became pecks on the lips, the smile he was preserving for her was no longer present. And worst of all, they didn't celebrate their anniversary. The fifth one, even though it meant the world for Naruto, he said that he was too tired and she just accepted this.

It became suffocating to stay at home, but she couldn't go anywhere, all her friends were working and going out required money, which she didn't have much. So, she stayed home, getting rejections from all the places she applied to and being rejected by Sasuke every day when they went to the bed.

She felt she was being crushed, the demon inside her was laughing at her weakness.

"I will go and visit Tsunade for a few days" it was a sudden idea, she could see that it surprised Sasuke. She felt the need to escape, and she decided that her godmother could use some help. And it has been quite some time since she visited Jiraya's grave. "You would have some alone time, I feel like I'm getting on your nerves by being here."

"It's stupid" he stated simply. "If you want to visit Tsunade do it, but don't do it to give me space, that is just unnecessary waste of money."

So, she stayed, she didn't want to waste _his_ money. But in a few days' time, it felt like a mistake. She finally broke, she couldn't take it any longer. He was saying that he wanted to save their relationship, but he wasn't acting on it. He did nothing.

She knew that the timing wasn't right, after all, she was called in for an interview for the next day and she needed to get up early, but she couldn't take it anymore.

"Tell me."

"No, it's better if we don't talk about it now. You need to sleep" they were sitting in the bed, a big distance between them, everything went wrong. There was no turning back, there was no fixing the problems.

She knew what this meant, they could have just stopped there, she could have been the one to say the words, but she didn't want to, she still loved him after all. He had to say it. He had to stop lying to them.

"Please, just tell me."

There was a moment of silence, he was being too damn considerate.

"There is no point in keeping up with this. It won't work out. You love me and I can't return those feelings anymore" she knew it was coming and it still hurt like hell, it felt like they showed a hand into her chest and tore her heart out. She cried out. It was just so damn painful, she felt her body shaking. She knew this was going to happen from the start but she still run into it, she could have quitted a long time ago, it would have been less painful, she wouldn't have wasted a month on try to save something that cannot be saved.

"Can I get one last hug?" she asked trembling as she looked at him, he was observing her carefully and his facial expressions have softened at the question.

"Sure" as soon as he said that he was in her arms, holding onto him so strongly like her life depended on it, and this time he hugged back. She couldn't help but think that these hugs will belong to someone else soon. She won't be able to feel his body heat, his smell, the touch of his skin, all of it will be gone.

"It's so unfair" she muttered. "I love you so much."

"I know" he whispered, they were silent for a minute, still hugging each other and it felt so good and so bad at the same time. "I will take the sofa, you should get to sleep now" he suddenly said letting her go.

"No!" she protested. She didn't want to stay in the bed. In their bed, the first furniture that they bought together, it had his scent, it had their memories. She wouldn't be able to stay there, no way.

"Okay," he said quietly "but you should still sleep."

She didn't, and neither did he, they talked so much, so much more than they did in the past few weeks and it felt nice, he still understood her, better than anyone. But it didn't change the fact that it was over.

The next day was horrible, she barely slept, she was out of breath and had an insane headache when she arrived at her interview. It went well, relatively. She had little to no experience, which made her unsuitable for the work, but they were nice and promised her they would notify her if there is a position more suitable for her.

She cried on the way home.

'A failure' her demon whispered.

The hardest part was still in store for her. Sasuke. When she got home, he was there, it felt awkward.

"I made food," he said, he didn't stand up to come and welcome her when she entered their small flat, he stayed in his chair. "How did it go?"

"It was okay" she smiled faintly. "They didn't hire me though."

"I see. Next time." Very awkward, indeed.

They didn't say a word while they were eating it was just so embarrassing.

"I have started looking for flats, I will move away as soon as possible," he said after they finished eating. She just nodded. 'As soon as possible.' She knew that it could mean anything with the current housing industry in Konoha, they could be stuck in this position for another half year. It will be… rough.

And it was, she was still crying every day and she couldn't do it in peace, after all, they were still living together. It was the middle of February and nothing seemed to change. She was in love, he wasn't, she slept on the sofa, he slept on the bed, she didn't have a job, he was working every day, the weather was still freezing outside and the darkness came early every day.

Her inner demon just got louder and louder.

It was sudden. They called her back, same company, different position, starting from March. It felt nice. The next thing didn't. She didn't realise how comforting it was that they were still living together, until he announced he got a flat, starting from March.

Everything started to change then and suddenly her apartment became like the scene outside, dark and lonely. She stared at the room again, she got to keep the sofa and one of the tables, he took the wardrobe, the shelves and the other table. The room looked too huge without all that. They managed to move all his stuff in just one day. And she was left alone.

She looked at the tall boxes in front of her, she insisted he would take the bed, and he insisted they would get her a new one. It was still in parts, boxed.

She let out a long sight and dragged herself to the bathroom. It would be nice if she could sleep in a bed today. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, her face was pale, eyes dull and red, hair a mess. She looked horrible.

'How ugly' the demon howled.

She splashed herself in the face with some cold water and dragged herself out to grab the boxes and bring them to the bedroom. They weren't heavy, but she knew that she won't be able to assemble them alone. It didn't mean she wasn't going to try it anyway. She checked the clock: 9 in the evening, yeah, she won't be sleeping in her bed tonight, but she has to start sometime.

A half hour later she was ready with the first drawer, which meant that there were three more to go and the biggest work, the frame. She started with the second when the entrance door suddenly opened. She turned pale and wanted to scream when she realised it is just Sasuke.

"Hey, I thought I would bring your keys back and I wanted to see how you're dealing with the bed," he said a small smile appearing on his face. "I will help you, don't worry" he crossed the living room in a few big strides and he was in the bedroom. She couldn't say anything, she had a hard time not crying. She was so grateful to him.

It went much faster now, they were still a great team, working perfectly together. But it just made her heart ache more.

When he left at 11, her bed was assembled and ready to be taken over. She slept like a baby that night.

Work was hard, took away most of her time so she didn't have much time to think, but when she did it was dark and lonely. March was unexpectedly cold, it was a record, it even snowed several times and she couldn't find peace.

She started to blame herself for what happened, she was too impatient with Sasuke and it drove him away. It was all her mistake and she hated herself for it.

On the other hand, her demon enjoyed this period, her crying and feeling worthless. His whispers have finally gotten to her.

She felt like there was no way she could go on.

Her friends didn't see any of this, they were telling her how happy they are that she is finally getting better and how great it is. It didn't surprise her, she was great at pretending to be something that she isn't and no one saw through her act, apart from Sasuke. He was the only one she couldn't deceive in the past and even now.

He distanced himself from her, saying that he feels that the fact that they are still in contact makes it harder for her to heal. To truly get better.

March was a living hell and April didn't promise anything better either. She couldn't believe her eyes when she saw snow on the first day of the month. A joke, taken too far by mother nature.

But things started to change, she still hated herself, but now the reason was different, she felt she was toxic, a whinny little bitch who likes to feel sorry for herself. Pathetic. She got annoyed with more and more things. Like with the fact that how she was still looking up to her window every time she was going home in hopes to see Sasuke's silhouette as he was sitting at his desk. Or how she hoped she would see him in the morning when she opened her eyes, how he would turn in his chair when she stepped into the apartment.

She was getting sick of it. So, she decided to move, to look for a new apartment to rent. And she did, rather quickly, even if the move in date was still far, she felt like she could breathe a bit better.

She started to pick fights with herself, finding mistakes. She never hated herself more than now every little detail bothered her but it gave her so much energy to go on.

With May the good weather came, and without realising she changed plenty. She cried a lot less and Sasuke wasn't on her mind all the time anymore. She started working out to get rid of her extra energy and it made her feel good.

Her inner demon got silent and even if he barked a few words at her, she tried to ignore them. From time to time she was still brought down to that cold lonely place, but now she didn't hesitate to call Sakura or Hinata in these cases. It helped a lot, there were days she felt fine and there were others where she didn't.

But something was changing, her windows were open all the time now, to let in the warm draft of spring, she started focusing on her successes instead of her failures and she felt like she can breathe again.

It was in one afternoon as she was looking at herself in the mirror that she realised that they will be still days when she cries with regret because of how things turned out. But she had gotten stronger and she will get even stronger until she is able to pick up all the pieces. Until then, her inner demon can howl all it wants, she will keep going like the stubborn woman she was.


End file.
